The Authorized Publius Dictionary --------------------------------- Version 1.8 PubeFort Press Copyleft (c) 1994-1996 .edu, n.: Network suffix used to describe the host machine of anyone disagreeing with Publius (in other words, all hosts other than inca.gate.net). aggravate, v.t.: What Atheists do to Publius by requesting backing evidence for his claims. atheism, n.: The 32nd Religious Group. Atheist, n.: 1. One who believes in the 'Atheist God'. See "Atheist God". 2. A person who fails to embrace as Revealed Truth the peculiar worldview of one branch of conservative Christianity as filtered through the semi-literate interpretations of Gingrichian "Third Wave" sophistry and presented by noted net.narcissist Publius. Synonyms: "communist", "homosexual", "liberal" and "evolutionary biologist". Atheist God, n.: The Composite of the Workings of the 'Laws' of 'Physics' and 'Chemistry'. This is the God worshipped by Atheists, try as they might to deny it. bad-mouth, v.t.: To try to glean some inkling of the fuzzy thoughts of Publius, invariably unsuccessfully. Belief, n.: What Atheists have regarding their God. They will not admit this, however. better education, n.: An education given by Publius, since clearly only Publius has access to the truth. See 'truth'. Big Heads, pl.n.: What Atheists have due to their insistence that Publius' Children of God are nonsense. bigoted, adj.: Unreasonably biased against Publius. catalepsy, n.: A disease of the mind possessed by those advocating Evolution and/or Darwinism. catastrophic event, n.: What happens when the Law of Entropy is suddenly applied to a whole bunch of Life. Cathedral, n.: An object created by Western Man with the aid of knowledge from the Great Civilizations. Much better than Atheist architecture, don'cha know. Children of God, n.: (plural) Those humans descended from the original God-like human ancestors. Not to be confused with Natural Man, viz. everyone else, nor with the cult by the same name. Church, n.: (of the Atheist Religion) Any grouping of Atheists with one or more common ideas. confusion, n.: A state of mind indicative of being ignorant or actively against Publius' claims and ideas. content, n.: A measure of the relative quantity of Publius-type ideas in any given posting on the net. corrupt, v.t.: To instill any non-Publius-originated ideas in someone. Corrupt, adj.: (corruption, corrupting) The state of any society not completely in line with Publius' 'Vector'. See "Vector". Darwin: Sub-God of Atheism. Debate, n.: A process in which Publius speaks, and all agree. demoralized, adj.: Descriptive of Atheists (or Nothingburgers) who consistently fail to agree with Publius, and furthermore think his ideas silly. Doctrine, n. (of the Autonomous Self): The belief that no higher power is responsible for one's motivations and decisions, and that one must therefore live like a dog. See "non sequitur". Also see "Dog". Dog, n.: An animal sacred to the Atheist Religion. Atheists insist on teaching children in public schools to emulate Dogs both in the way they live and the way they die. Dogma, n.: All tenets held by Atheists. This is obvious because of the way they deny it. distortion, n.: What happens to Publius' 'facts' in the process of being reposted for the edification of newbies. dominant, adj. (referring to the Atheist Religion): A term used to label any philosophy rejected by Publius, and perceived by Publius as a threat. This is regardless of its actual standing, since the term is used only in True Reality. See 'True Reality'. Eighth Day, n.: A hypothetical extension to the Seven Days of Creation. On this day the 'Children' of 'God' were created. Enlightened, adj.: An adjective descriptive of Publius' own views, by definition. This has nothing to do with any previous meanings of the word 'enlightened' you may have heard. Entropy, n.: A mechanism which periodically causes 'catastrophes' and 'catastrophic events'. These are detrimental to all 'Life'. Et. Al., n. (archaic): Publius' imaginary supporters. fact, n.: Any statement made by Publius which can be seen to be in accord with Publius' beliefs. Note that this need not have any bearing on observed reality, and 'facts' are in fact frequently diametrically opposed to said reality. figure of speech, n.: Used by Publius to mean, referring to his own writings, "a phrase composed of words I do not understand, arranged in ways I cannot comprehend, to make a point that is over my head anyway." Often used in self-defense after Atheists have been Writhing and Twisting in the iron grip of Publius' True Reality. Fire of God, n.: Atomic power. Which god this is the fire of remains unclear. Why it belongs to said god is equally unknown. Frustration, n.: An emotion obviously experienced by Atheists attempting to counter the arguments of Publius, because they know he is Right. See "Rage". gall, n.: Curiosity. See "insolence". Game of the Gods, n.: A putative recreation indulged in between the 'Children' of 'God' and 'Natural' 'Man'. How to distinguish these is not known at this time. Genetic defect, n.: Any set of genes differing from Publius'. God, n.: 1. Anything believed in by anyone. Hence the "Atheist God". 2. Life in its Ultimate Configuration. Gog and Magog, n.: Progenitors of the "Children of the Devil" (see Homo Sapients [sic]). Grand Cultures, pl.n.: Any ancient culture that lasted more than 100 years and was descended from the Egyptians. Erroneously explained by the Atheist Sub-God Darwin's theory as an organism. Each Grand Culture came into existence full-blown, all at once, with no preparation. Great Civilization, n.: A people whose history is known to have contributed to Western Man (the pinnacle of the Lord's creation). All GCs believe in the one true God and an afterlife. Growing number, n.: A count of Publius' imaginary supporters, who remain purely imaginary despite Publius' best efforts to the contrary. See "et. al." hatred, n.: What Atheists feel toward Publius, which causes them to post 'junk' articles filled with 'insolence' and 'gall'. heretical, adj.: Descriptive of any hypothetical view expressed by someone other than Publius, which nonetheless is either True (q.v.) or Obvious (q.v.). Homo Sapients, n.: Another term for Natural Man. Idolatry, n.: The worship of a Lifeless God, in other words an Idol. The Atheist God, being Lifeless, is such an Idol, and therefore Atheists are Idolaters. incantations, pl. n.: Mutations. Referring to the fact that such things are 'surreal' (q.v.) and so akin to magic. infection, n.: That which causes 'Corruption'. insolence, n.: Skepticism. See "gall". intellectual gymnastics, n.: Feats of mental acrobatics performed by those trying to 'counter' Publius' claims. Such manoeuvres are obviously ultimately futile. See 'misinformation'. intellectually shallow, adj.: Descriptive of any idea containing more depth than one of Publius' own. intolerant, adj.: Refusing to accept all of Publius' claims at face value; requiring unreasonable quantities of evidence, backing material, and sources before paying attention to said claims. junk, n.: Any comments posted by an Atheist regarding Publius. juvenile, adj.: The apparent age of anyone who is Publius' intellectual superior (no counterexamples have been discovered to date). Knower, n.: One who knows God through "knowing". Someone with mystical leanings such as John the Son of Zebedee, or Stanley the Son of Nizenski. Law of Life, n.: the governing principle which allows Publius to make Unassailable claims about the nature of Life and its Ultimate Form. Life, n.: A mysterious quality which transcends all known Matter, and indeed Space and Time, in its quest for its Ultimate Configuration. The Creator of all known Reality. A synonym for 'God'. Logic, n.: The method used to proceed from a 'primordial chemical accident' to a state of 'chaotic disorder'. misinformation, n.: Information which ignores or is contrary to the 'point' that Publius is currently 'making'. All information not posted by Publius falls into this category. Morale, n.: A commodity Atheists find they have less and less of while attempting to deny the 'truth' of Publius' 'ideas'. mutation, n.: a fully-formed and fixed species adapting (but remaining fixed) to a changing environment in accordance with the Law of Life. Natural Man, n.: Biologically descended humans. No known method exists for distinguishing these from the 'Children' of 'God'. Natural Selection, n.: Any method of selection which ultimately selects Publius' preferred choices. nonsense, n.: Any facts or figures produced by Atheists which run counter to Publius' own ideas. Non sequitur, n.: A good point made by an Atheist. Nothingburger, n.: 1. anyone who disagrees with the definition of Atheist. See "Atheist". 2. An ordinary burger with nothing on it, or indeed in it. Usually with no bun either. This is the kind of burger theists like to eat - it satisfies their souls. Numero Uno, n.: The Head God (who speaks only Spanish). Chief mentor to the Atheist God. obfuscation, n.: The practice of clarifying the ordinary meaning of any word(s) uttered by Publius. Obvious, adj.: The characteristic of any idea which is clearly in line with Publius' own, and therefore possible for Publius to grasp. Most (perhaps all) obvious ideas hence come from Publius. offensive, adj.: (to Atheists, viz. Publius' statements) Any unsupported assertions made by Publius. See "unassailable". Organism, n.: Anything having the attributes of Birth, Unique and never-recurring personality, Infancy, Adolescence, Maturity, Old Age and Eventual Death, as explained in the theories of the Atheistic Sub-God Darwin. Originating Fountainhead (of Life), n: The Source of All Life, resulting in the Will Expression of Life Itself which gives us all the Forms of Life we have today. These include 'Natural Man' and the 'Children of God' (q.v.) Publius, n.: 1. A pseudonym taken by someone believing themselves to be emulating James Madison. 2. A pseudonym for someone named Stanley, but believes he is speaking for someone other than Charles Manson. prejudiced, adj.: Any evidence of a non-Publius bias in any writings on a.a. Prime Symbol, n.: What Life is in the Physical Universe. The referent for this symbol is a phenomenon not bounded by Space, Time, or the Physical Universe itself. primitive, adj.: Anyone who considers Life to be only Matter in Motion. Process of Evolution, n.: (as opposed to the scientific theory of evolution) That form of evolution propounded in Genesis One, often mistaken for Creation. quirk, n.: (in Atheists' thinking processes) Any logical component of an Atheistic worldview which therefore constitutes a stumbling block for Publius. quirky, adj.: (as applied to the Atheist Religion) Descriptive of religions that believe in a Lifeless God, who is therefore inferior to his Believers. See 'Atheist God'. Rage, n.: Another emotion obviously experienced by Atheists as their arguments against Publius are 'shot down'. See "Frustration". Rationalistic Religion, n.: the Religion adhered to by proponents of Reason. It is a Religion because its members follow it religiously. Reactionaries, pl.n.: Any 'Atheists' who continue to disagree with Publius after long periods of 'debate'. They are usually also 'prejudiced', and show 'obvious' signs of 'Rage' and 'Frustration'. Reality, Virtual, n.: What Atheists consider to be real. Reality, True, n.: What Publius considers to be real. Religious Tenet, n.: any belief held by anyone, whether based on evidence, fact, fantasy, or other. ridicule, v.t.: To point out the flaws in Publius' postings. See 'Twist' and 'Writhe'. romantic, adj.: Publius' fantasy of the origins of life, namely that living matter was created in a puddle of non-living by 'Something' that came along and dropped in the essential Ingredients of Life. Science, n.: A feeble tool used by the Sons of Gog and Magog in their search for the God of Physics and Chemistry. scientific, adj.: (theories) Any theory dealing with Physics, Chemistry or Metaphysics, regardless of the content, testability or repeatability of the theory. serious, adj.: A word descriptive of any poster who is willing to take Publius' side in 'debate'. See 'debate'. This appears to be a purely hypothetical construct since, at the time of this writing, none of these have actually been discovered despite very intense and diligent efforts. snarling, adj.: Descriptive of those who continue to expose Publius' fantasies for what they are, despite all of Publius' insistence to the contrary. Soul, n.: A component of Life which is both Everlasting and Indestructible. Possessed by 'Children of God'. spell, n.: Commandment given out by a 'Child' of 'God', e.g. Publius. spiritually discerned, adj.: Any act of comprehension involving 'God', and thus accessible only to Publius and his fellow 'Children' of 'God'. Surreal, adj.: Having to do with concepts beyond Publius' ken. Thus the 'Big Bang Theory' is surreal, as is the idea of abiogenesis. See 'True Reality'. truth, n.: Any belief held by Publius. Twist, v.i.: Unfairly pointing out logical fallacies in Publius' posts. See Writhe. Ultimate Configuration, n. (of Life): The logical end result of the Process of Evolution. By virtue of being 'Ultimate', this is also known as 'God'. Since 'Life' has primacy over 'Matter' (the Stumper Question notwithstanding), and therefore since 'Life' has existed for an infinite time, this 'Configuration' must have already been attained. Hence, God exists. unassailable, adj.: 1. Any unfounded claim made by Publius. 2. Any claim so generalized as to be rendered meaningless, esp. when put in capital letters. uncomprehending, adj.: Trait demonstrated by Atheists whenever they refuse to instantly believe Publius' utterings. Unimaginative, adj.: The creative status of anyone who cannot stretch their minds to include Publius' ideas. vacuous, adj.: A word used to describe the contents of a view containing anything other than Publius' ideas. Vector, n.: Any 'direction' espoused by Publius. Used to describe the proposed path of a civilization on its way to the Endgame (of the 'Game of the Gods'). Susceptible to 'Corruption'. Western Man, n.: 1. Any 'Children' of 'God' living near Publius. 2. A creature with 99.9999% genetic similarity to Stanley Nizenski. Will Expression, n.: The process used to produce all living organisms. The reproductive mechanisms previously thought to be responsible are now shown to be only a blind alley. wretched, adj.: The mental state of Atheists who continue to disbelieve Publius and his claims. Writhe, v.i.: Unfair insistence by Atheists that Publius conform to reasonable standards of rationality. See Twist. --- Corrections and additional entries welcomed. Updates will be released as appropriate. Thanks to contributors Mike Cummings, Bryan Hayward, Natalie Overstreet, Laurence Mailaender, Gene Johanssen, Michael Cranford, Evan Steeg and Stacy Prowell.